Category Archives: Life

How to be motivated.

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Sometimes you start with a crazy idea or something you wanted to do for a while now. You might even do several new projects at the same time and might feel overwhelmed. Wondering if what you’re doing is the right thing, could it be a waste of time, etc. Whatever it might be that makes you feel like that, today I will try to keep you motivated with some personal advice.

As stated above, I can not guarantee that what I will share will keep you motivated. Everyone has their own personality and freedom to choose if they want to follow any advice or not. With that out of the way, let us get to it, shall we? First things first. Ask yourself why are you feeling less motivated? Have you been doing something for  while now with no results or not the results you were hoping for? Are there new developments in your life that could be the cause of demotivation? If you can somewhat get an idea what it might be, you’re already half way back on track to motivation land.

Getting demotivated doesn’t have to be because you’re undertaking something huge and it’s not paying off. Sometimes it can just be something small aswell. You could have reached a milestone in your life and have a empty feeling afterwards, making you less proud of said milestone and could withhold you from realizing other goals. A trick for that is to try and see beyond that milestone, especially when it’s getting closer. Think about what you might want to do after it and make that your new milestone. When you do achieve your goal, you won’t be left with an empty feeling. Think of it as binging a series and already knowing what other series you will watch afterwards.

If your motivation is decreasing because of dissappointing results, cheer up. Don’t expect too much out of anything. The worst case is failing, yes that’s a possibility we all want to avoid, but it’s always there. Still have some expectations in what might happen if you keep working on it, instead of thinking what will happen. Nothing is set in stone after all. So if you just started with a project, give it time. Try to maximize the potential to succeed ( e.g. new business, try as much advertising on social media from the start, even if almost no one sees it. Maybe you’re new to the gym and those exercises are getting tough, take some bigger breaks if needed, as long as you keep returning to the exercises ). Everything needs time to grow, most will say time is your enemy ( time is money, in most cases ) but don’t rush things. Rushing it will bring two major problems that will contribute to whether or not you will stay motivated. You will start making small mistakes that might end prolonging your journey to your goal. Depending on who you are as a person, you might also get stressed by wanting quicker results. Combined they can destroy any undertaking, big or small, if you don’t get a hold of yourself.

But how do you get a hold on yourself? You might be the somewhat lucky type who was born with the gift of stubbornness. People often think being stubborn is a negative trait and in general I do agree with that. Most of the time it is used in the wrong way, not wanting to admit something after making a mistake or cutting ties forever with people, things like that. However, you can control that same power to pour energy into your motivational levels. You don’t want to be defeated by a minor set back, you keep pushing because the amount of stubbornness is greater than what life can throw at you. Sure a set back will happen, but if it does just strike back twice as hard back by putting in the extra effort. It’s one way of taking more control over yourself and unexpected events in life.

If you can’t rely on stubborn traits, you could always take another approach on how you view things. As mentioned earlier, everything requires time to progress. Instead of focusing on deadlines getting closer as if it’s this huge undefeatable monster, just think about the flow of time. Time only goes forward, so yeah that deadline will come closer, but it will pass just as quickly and before you know it it will be in the past far behind you. Time is a one way traffic road, just let things come at you and deal with them when they arrive. No need to fret about it before the actual moment. In the case of our gym example, you can use this way of thinking too. During exercises, think to yourself ‘ I’ve held out this long, I can hold out for a couple of seconds more ‘. Get yourself motivated by your own strenght by simply doing a little bit of math. Suprised? Well, sticking with the gym, go like this; do an exercise for 10 secs, do it again and again. Keep counting in intervals of 10 secs, but also count your number of exercises. Try to go for 10 exercises. By the end of it you will have spend 100 secs and let’s assume this is a lot, be proud of it that you fulfilled it. Breaking up bigger things in smaller pieces is a great way to still achieve the bigger goal, while making it mentally easier for yourself. In this case you could just set a timer at 100 secs and simply try to do 10 repeats of the same exercise withing that time frame. The difference is you’ll feel more pressured to do so and it will feel longer to do so. Again, this might work for some people while others are more comfortable racing against time.

Lastly, this is something I am personally dealing with, is that you can get demotivated by repeated failure. Or atleast the feeling of repeated failure. Even if it’s something out of your control, if you try to do it with different approaches or styles and it still ends up bad. Just drop it. This is might seem like giving up and thus the opposite of keeping yourself motivated. But in this case, if you tried it enough that you can almost predict how it will end up. Just leave it alone entirely. Don’t expect anything from it. Weirdly enough it could still happen, when you least expect it, since everything falls within the realm of chance. It could just be that focussing on it, might hurt getting to that goal more than it would leaving it alone. It’s a bit of a contradicting one for sure. One that could also affect anything else you might want to accomplish. It might take away time, a sense of self worth and it can make you less rational when you let emotions run up high.

In the end, being motivated and keeping that motivation isn ‘t easy for anyone. Sometimes you just need a bit of luck, other times you have to rely on your own. I hope my words are motivational enough for anyone who needs it. Know that you’re not alone in this matter, as we all have experienced it and can experience it again. It’s one of life’s eternal battles.

 

Business photo created by jigsawstocker.

 

Streaming on Twitch

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Today I thought to myself ‘Let’s make the next blog a bit different’. Now I’m still getting the hang of it all and I’m learning daily. But I wanted to try and make a more organic blog today, meaning I would like it to feel more like a conversation to you, the reader.

Now the question is what would be a good topic to do so? And suddenly it dawned on me, I did a stream earlier today, so why not share my experiences with it as a beginner. There are lots of people asking how to stream, mostly the interactive part rather than setting up the stream itself. Because let’s face it, anything online is difficult when you first start out. Especially if it involves you directly, this blog for example is easier to just do and build something out of it. You just write about any topic you want and publish it on your site. Sure at first you might not have much traffic, but it’s still easier then streaming with maybe 1-2 people watching you.

The first and most obvious part when you stream is to choose a game that will be able to keep you talking. Preferably a game you haven’t played yet before. Your reactions will be extra genuine and you will have tons of stuff to react to verbally. Talking shows your invested in both the game and your audience ( yes even if you are talking to yourself ), so when someone does decide to pop in, they don’t see just some random gameplay. They also experience you and how you experience the game. Think of it as playing couch co-op with a friend. It’s more fun when people get invested in a game together after all!

Of course if you’re not used to talking that much, like myself, you might find yourself getting quiet a lot and you’ll have to correct that to keep the audience their attention. Trust me, it sounds easier then done, in my experience it’s making sure you have something to drink by your side. You’ll get thristy quickly from all that talking. But when you do have an audience, no matter how small or big, it gives you a feeling of accomplishment and the interaction really energizes you to do your best even more. I’m by no means an entertaining person unless you really get to know me, so my streams are still somewhat awkward. Like everything, practice is key. Know what you want to focus on first, don’t bother trying to be the super professional streamer yet. In my case, I just boot up the game and my streaming program, then just start streaming immediately. No ‘going live/starting soon’ screen for me, I want to pratice being more comfortable speaking and in general be more entertaining while gaming. That way I will be able to build a nice following and perhaps after that I can be a bit more professional in how I start my streams. A welcome message at the start of the stream is only necessary if you want to give your followers some time to grab something to eat and drink before diving into a game.

And who knows, maybe you’ll be streaming one day and suddenly get your first raid, just like I did today. Granted it was a raid of 2 people, but it was so unexpected, it did made my day. Simply because it’s part of being a streamer at some point and it’s those milestones that you want to achieve, experience and share with your viewers. I know it sounds like I’m already a big streamer, but I’m definitely not. Big streamers are still happy when those things happen, but are also more used to it. Yet here I am, a bit baffled about today.

It should be of no suprise either, that concistency is key. For me I try to stream every sunday and when I have my day off from work if nothing comes up. Might even do a quick and short stream if I’m really in the mood. Which brings us to social media. Again, i’m not perfect when it comes to that, but announce your stream any time you can on Twitter atleast. It’s a given if you want to promote anything these days and yet I haven’t even made an Twitter account to promote my own blog.

In short, if you want to stream, just do it. Set up your program of choice, know what you want to achieve and enjoy doing it. Oh and get used to hating how you sound haha. But that will better with time too. And if you’re really unsure about it, but do want to try it, do it together with a friend. Play a co-op game and talk with each other. Hey if it helps, you can always hit me up for help.

Mental Health.

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Mental health is a tricky subject from my experiences. Mainly because it’s so personal and individual ( aside from the general diagnostics you can get from going to a psychiatrist ). Yesterday, here in Belgium, an even called “Rode Neuzen Dag” ( Red Nose Day ; referring to brighten up children their day in the hospital by volunteers dressed as clowns ) came to an end. though it has the word “Day” in it, it’s actually spanning a few weeks, organizing several charities to raise money to help out the youth. This year they raised money for kids with weak social skills or general mental apptitude. As said, it ended yesterday and they raised a little over four million euros.

Now I’m all for charities, because by definition they are to help others out. However, I always ask myself if it’s really needed. Of course this depends on the nature of what you are raising money for. Cancer research for example is obvious or people who lost limb, but need the extra financial support to get the bionics ( not everything gets refunded by the health insurance or the tech might be too new and thus very expensive ). So I do see the good in charities, no doubt! Remember I’m only giving my two cents on any subject and I do want to know what others think about it.

So why am I a bit negative when it comes to mental health charities, right? Well, that’s because I have had a period of instability when it came to my mental health. I know it exists and can cause troubles, maybe I was just the exception on how I dealt with it. I will keep my story short for now, might make a blog about it another day. My darkest hour was when I was still searching for a job, the only thing I knew then was bills and I only saw what little I had go to just that. After countless rejections I just couldn’t bare it anymore. Every passing day, the thought of just ending my life became bigger and I kept that for myself. I was even getting recurring anxious dreams. Simply put those dreams were a manifestation of the feeling of failure. The last dream was different however and when I woke up it felt like something snapped in me. Now I am a stubborn person, so maybe that’s why, but I suddenly refused to give in to those thoughts. A few weeks later, I stepped inside the place where I’m working now. It still gives me a weird feeling thinking about it, how it seems as if everything was meant to be or if it was just a random string of events that just happened to not be the end of my life.

What I’m trying to say is, do you really need help or is it better to deal with it on your own. Help might make you dependant on outside support and conquering your problems solo makes you stronger. It vastly depends on the person to begin with, however I’m leaning more to the solo side, even setting my own experiences aside. To me, there’s nothing better then being able to fall back on yourself, in any situation. So doing anything on your own ( as far as you feel comfortable with it ) makes you a more resilient and self sufficient. On the other hand, you could argue what help is. Is simply listening to someone helping, because talking to yourself in an empty room might not help ( most might even feel this is a step towards going mad, but it’s not what I want to convey by giving this example ). I don’t see talking/listening to someone as helping, since to me it’s part of who we are. We’re proud to be social creatures, but often we neglect that part of ourselves when it is needed the most. So basic human interaction is just a given and shouldn’t be seen as something on it’s own or as an extra. Which help is in my eyes, to do something extra for someone so things will be easier.

Which brings me to what they are planning to do with the raised money. And I do have my doubts about the examples they gave. Most will be done at schools and will involve, but are not limited to silent rooms and white rooms. Silent rooms, like the name implies is a place of quiet. One can go there to escape the busy playground, because a lot of students seem to ask for such a place. It does strike me as somewhat odd, if a lot ( and I assume this means the majority, we still do things democratically after all ) want this, then my question is ‘ why need a seperate space for peace and tranquility if everyone can just be calm and quiet themselves from time to time? ‘ It might seem weird to ask, but at the same time it’s also a valid and logical question. If however this doesn’t apply to the majority, I can understand it a bit more. But then I tend to think of the age old debate extraverts vs introverts. I’m not saying it is that, it might just be one of the causes for example. The second type of room, white rooms, is to give kids a place to doodle and let their creativity run wild on white walls. This is something that might seem as weird as the silent rooms, but I do have more understanding for what they’re trying to do with the creative approach.

Even if you’re not the creative type, you can always make the worst doodles in existence and still get a satisfied feeling from it. Getting your mind off of other things in that moment. This might come from a problem that has been created for years now. Some simply want to be ‘wild’, it’s a bit strongly worded but I mean it in the way of climbing trees, have little scuffles with other kids ( no real fighting though ). You know, just kids being kids when you let them loose on a playground or in a park/forest. These days you have almost none of those places. They’ve either been abandoned or removed because of complains from the neighbourhood. Sure there are still parks, but again, no dedicated place for kids to be themselves. So this might translate to cropped up bursts of wanting to let loose and a white room, pristine white walls, ready to be ‘vandalised’ is just the thing that will eleviate some tension. Oh and those that might argue that it means those same kids would vandalise a playground, every action has a cause and it’s how you deal with that cause that decides what someone will or will not do.

All that being said. I do hope it actually will make a difference, if not the money is just wasted and nobody has gotten the help they expected. Will they be stronger in life because of it? Time will tell. Let’s just hope all the effort impacts them now and relatively quick too. If they still have lingering problems by the time they’re expected to be fully functional adults contributing to society, we might have a bigger problem on our hands. Forgive the pessimist in me for a moment though ( but personally, being ready for the worst has made me stronger ).

If anyone reading this does need a talk, I’m always willing to listen. Just let me know in the comments or on Twitter .

What it’s like to work in retail.

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My main full time job is working in retail, more specifically a supermarket. When I started out I had already heard stories about how aweful customers could be, but I always took those with a grain of salt. Today I will give you my perspective and experiences, to hopefully give you the right view on the sector.

First of all, I have to say that the place I work at is just one of many owned by a larger company. So even between stores, operated by the same working rules as any other withing the same company, can bring different experiences. Those are mostly tied to how the personel go about with customers and even customers behaviour can differe greatly depending on location. So with that in mind, let’s get to it.

My first few months were a bit awkward and hard at times. Mainly because I didn’t have experience with retail, but also with the universal motto ‘ the customer is always right! ‘. See I’ve always been one to think a step ahead or place myself in someone else’s shoes. So when I get into a situation in which it is obvious the customer is doing something wrong or generally a stupid thing… we can’t really talk back, even in a civilized manner, because at the end of the day the customer will always win.

Of course there are situation that are annoying for both the store and customer, think of a product gone bad within the expiration date. If that happens common sense and decency is to ask the customer for a refund or if they wish to exchange the product for another. Those kind of things are the easiest to deal with and even if you have a angry customer, you’ll be done with it quickly. On the other hand, every store has a handful of people that seem to live to taunt you and it is those that make most either quit the job after a while or make you lose faith in common sense.

A collegue of mine once had a customer at the checkout who was going to buy several frozen pizza’s. She scanned in one, asking if they were all the same ( so she could simply multiply it in the system instead of scanning each ). The customer said ‘Yes, but now that I think about it I wanted different ones.’ She suggested to put some back while getting others. My collegue told the customer she could do that, but know that it meant the pizza’s she had, were going to be thrown away ( you could already see from the cartbox that they’d been out too long to be put back ). The customer said she didn’t mind that and went for the other pizza’s. When she came back, she had some different ones, but also a few of the exact same ones she didn’t want in the first place, meaning we had to throw away pizza’s for nothing.

On another occasion, there was a customer shouting and making a huge scene out of the fact that our fruit was rotten. Now if someone makes this complaint we take it very serious. So we checked it out and only found 2 rotten kiwi’s ( which can slip through especially if it’s one of the last ones and those tend to get crushed under the weight ). We showed what we found, to show we actually checked, but also to mediate in the way the customer reacted in the first place. We got the ‘ I’m never coming back! ‘ answer and that was that.

The biggest pain we had was a customer who complained about everything. The kicker was that she even complained about the cheapest products, how they were still way too expensive for the quality it provided. This went on for a lot of products in the store and for months ( she came by almost every day ). And everytime she had a complaint, we did the necessary steps to trace the product, test it for deviations of quality, etc. … and getting back in touch with said customer to provide feedback. Again, even after a hundred complaints, we still couldn’t do anything. If we even said something back, explaining the products quality and what not, she would get in contact with customer support and file a complaint about however tried to help her out. This ended several times with her getting a compensation for the troubles suffered. This is what’s hard on me, I have a lot of understanding and patience, but enough is enough. It was what made me realize that people aren’t actually entitled to anything and that we didn’t have to move heaven and earth for them. I know, I know, not everyone is like that, but a lot do assume it’s evident. These were just some of the more difficult ones. Most still think they can do and demand everything, no matter how small it might be. And that’s all in a store that does get a lot of praise for having very friendly personel.

In the end, you can’t change anyones nature or character. But I still hope each day that by sharing my experiences and stories, people will think a little before acting. Yes you have the right to complain about something, but do it in a orderly fashion. What if you were in my place? Do you like to be yelled at or have to deal with dumb little things that take away precious time to get something else done by the end of the day? I want to say I think the answer is Yes, but without trying to offend anyone, that’s where I have a lot of doubts. Working in retail has lessened my trust in people’s ability to use common sense. I’m just glad I don’t work at a store in the more rich area’s. Boy, the things I’ve heard from there…

My life’s motto always is and has been, to do nothing I myself wouldn’t want to either. Don’t go ranting without assessing the situation, everyone works for a living and everyone wants that to be as pleasant as possible. I’m not saying we can’t handle an argument or a difficult customer/situation, just be civil is all I’m saying. No matter what job you do or what situation you are in. I still love my job regardless, but it can be a challenge at times for me personally and my way of viewing things in life.